Joke of the day

[CharlieHorse]

Just a question

Mice are for sissies........I use a snappin' turtle.  In your case, probably a rat.


 

[jbird]

Oh, by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.  Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late

Just a question   was your hand on the mouse ?   Mine was, I guess that reminds me of something I already know

There was no offense intended,  it's that  I think most of us read our e-mail with a hand on the mouse control

[CharlieHorse]

 

 

You lost me man!?     

Seems to be some confusion here?   

 But if you're talkin' "trash" , I don't want any part of it.


 

[Pheasant Hollow Farm]

Second J.O.D.

Enjoy

Steve
Pheasant Hollow Farm


A young guy from TEXAS moves to OKLAHOMA and goes
to a big "everything under one roof" department store
looking for a job.
The Manager says, "Do you have any sales
experience?"

The kid says "Yeah. I was a salesman back in TEXAS. "

Well, the boss liked the kid and gave him the job.
"You start tomorrow. I'll come down after we close and see how you did."

His first day on the job was rough, but he got through it.

After the store was locked up, the boss came down. "How many customers bought something from you today?

The kid says "one".

The boss says "Just one? Our sales people average 20 to 30 customers a day. How much was the sale for?"

The kid says "$101,237.65".

The boss says "$101,237.65? What the heck did you sell?"
The kid says, "First, I sold him a small fish hook. Then I sold him
a medium fishhook. Then I sold him a larger fishhook. Then I sold
him a new fishing rod. Then I asked him where he was going fishing and he said down the coast, so I told him he was going to need a boat, so we went down to the boat department and I sold him a twin engine Chris Craft. Then he said he didn't think his Honda Civic would pull it, so I took him down to the automotive department and sold him that 4x4 Expedition."

The boss said "A guy came in here to buy a fish hook and you sold him
a BOAT and a TRUCK?"

The kid said "No, the guy came in here to buy some hygiene products for his wife,
and I said, 'Dude, your weekend's shot, you should go fishing........."

[NH/Pete]

 j45

[wildergamebirds]

Oh, by the way.....

A German scientist from Argentina, after a lengthy study, has discovered that people with insufficient brain activity read their e-mail with their hand on the mouse.  Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late

Just a question   was your hand on the mouse ?   Mine was, I guess that reminds me of something I already know

There was no offense intended,  it's that  I think most of us read our e-mail with a hand on the mouse control

  Hand on the mouse, huh?  Depends on the e-mail, I suppose.  My filter stops that kind.

[Pheasant Hollow Farm]

I hope this isn't to ............ What's the word I am looking for? If so I will delete this post.

Otherwise, Enjoy

Steve
Pheasant Hollow Farm


Guts or Balls...

There is a medical distinction. We've all heard about people having guts or balls, but do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definitions are listed below:

GUTS - Is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being met by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to ask: "Are you still   cleaning, or are you flying somewhere?"

BALLS - Is coming home late after a night out with the guys, smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the butt and having the balls to say: "You're next."

Author unknown

[slider]

This ole cowboy was sitting in Starbucks having a cup of coffee and this young women came in and sat down beside him. They just sat there drinking there coffee and the young lady leaned over to the ole cowboy and said...are you a real cowboy?  the ole cowboy thought for a minute and said to the young woman...yes I guess I am I have spent all of my life tending to cows and horses and dogs and building fences and baling hay and pulling calfs..They just sat there for a few minutes and the young woman leaned over to the ole cowboy and said...I am a Lesbian I think about women all day long everything that I do I think about women. I even dream about women when I am sleeping..The ole cowboy just sat there saying nothing and this young guy comes in and sits down on the other side of him and in a few minutes the young man leans over and ask the ole cowboy...are you a real cowboy...the ole cowboy thought for a minute and said to the young man...I thought that I was but I just found out that I am a Lesbian...

[Pheasant Hollow Farm]

 j41

Steve
Pheasant Hollow Farm

[slider]

Steve i figgerd you would like that one....

[wildergamebirds]

  Slider deserves an extra Karma point for cleaning that one up, without losing the point.

[Pheasant Hollow Farm]

Enjoy j41  lunch time is over


Steve
Pheasant Hollow Farm

What's in a name?

Subject: Psychiatrist

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers
and their small children... "You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, Mary, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even
named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom, Ann: "Your obsession is with money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third Mom, Joyce: "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests itself in your child's
name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother, Kathy, gets up, takes her little boy by the hand and whispers. "Come on, Dick, we're leaving......... j44

[NH/Pete]

Great one
 j45

[slider]

  

[wildergamebirds]

  I've heard of taking your marbles and going home, but never........