Joke of the day

[ode2god]

lol how didya know ? heres another a blonde kidnapped a kid and sent him home with a ransome note, it read send 10000.00 or youll never  see your kid again ..the kid came back 2 hrs later with the money and another note " how could one blonde do this to another?"    llol are you a blonde pleasant lol

No,,,, actually I am getting quite gray.

Steve                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                        Pheasant Hollow Farm

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                 awww thats okay mine aint even gray mine come in white silver... but its okay  theres always clairol  ...lol bad hair day poor little lol guy

[ode2god]

keep the good jokes coming everyone  have you heard this one:                                                                                                                                       two poor bums are walking down the rr tracks ..neither of them has eaten for daysss...they come across a dead chicken on the tracks . it was definately old ,maggots were even crawling out of it. the first bum looks at the second one and says "you want it?" the second bum says" no go ahead ," the first bum chokes it down and seconds later he throws it back up, the second bum says" i knew if i waited i'd get a hot meal!"   

[NH/Pete]

 

[cv]

                                                  New Bird Dog

Bill and Jay went quail hunting. In the field, Bill tells his friend Jay that he and his new bird dog can basically talk to each other.

Jay says, "right, prove it."

So Bill points to some bushes and his dog runs over, sniffs around, then returns and barks six times. Bill says, "there are six birds in those bushes."

"Prove it", says Jay.

Bill takes a shot in the air and sure enough, six birds come flying out.

"That's great", says the Jay, "can I try that?"

Sure says Bill, so Jay points to some bushes and off goes the dog.

This time the dog is gone for awhile. When he finally returns, he runs up to Jay and starts pumping his leg. "Get this crazy, faggot dog off me." says Jay.

The dog stops and picks up a stick in his mouth and starts to shake it back and forth.

Jay says "You've got one crazy dog Bill." "You and that dog can't talk."

Bill says, Sure we can. He's telling me that there are more f_cking birds in there than you could shake a stick at!

[citypickle]

  To Good

[citypickle]

This is True & Funny My Grand Father invited a friend form Philadelphia down to S.C. to hunt Quail they were College Buddies from the Medical University  So Ben (This is 19 30'S era ) came to Hunt Quail. Granpas dog Hurley was well trained and Steady on Birds . Ben's dog would flush the birds that Hurley would point & not back so about three times this Happened  Hurley walked up to Ben lifted his leg and Peed on his leg, went and lay under the truck and wouldn't hunt the rest of the day. Tell me Dogs don't get Pissed off??

[birddog]

old farmer john sitting on the front porch in his rocker  sees the neighbor boy walking down the road carrying a handfull of cattails. whatcha doin with those cattails says farmer john ? the boy replied  goin to catch  some cats! You dummy says farmer john you can,t catch cats with cattails. the boy walked on. later that evening the boy walked by heading home with a grain bag full of cats. farmer john just scratched his head. next morning the boy walked by with a roll of duck tape . farmer john yelled out whatcha doin with the duck tape? the boy replied gonna catch some ducks. you dummy says farmer john you cant catch ducks with duck tape. that evening the boy came by dragging the unraveled roll of duck tape with 30 ducks stuck to it. farmer john couldn,t believe his eyes. next morning the boy walks by farmer john yells out whatcha got today ? the boy replied pussywillows! farmer john jumped to his feet and yelled hold on a second let me  get my hat.

[Jake Levi]

This isnt about pussywillows   

Hillary is walking through the mall with a huge ugly black dog.

Joe Biden walks up and says " Hillary whats with the dog" ?

Hillary says " I got it for Bill"



Biden says "Good trade".

[ode2god]

 j45 j45 j45 great jokes guys , even though a couple were a little bit close to    lol

[Pretty_Bird]

Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.

'In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said,  'You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.'

The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on. 'It represents a candle', he said.

'You may pass through the pearly gates' Saint Peter said.

The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, 'They're bells.'

Saint Peter said 'You may pass through the pearly gates'.

The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and  finally pulled out a pair of women's panties.

St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, 'And just what do those symbolize?'


The man replied, 'These are Carols.'

[slider]

 j45   

[ode2god]

 j41 j41 j41 good one pretty bird

[jbird]

SNOTTY RECEPTIONIST

An older gentleman had an appointment to see the urologist who shared
offices with several other doctors. The waiting room was filled with
patients.

As he approached the receptionist's desk, he noticed that the
Receptionist was a large unfriendly woman who looked like a Sumo
Wrestler. He gave her his name.

In a very loud voice, the receptionist said, 'YES, I HAVE YOUR NAME
HERE;

YOU WANT TO SEE THE DOCTOR ABOUT IMPOTENCE, RIGHT?'

All the patients in the waiting room snapped their heads around to
look

at the very embarrassed man..

He recovered quickly, and in an equally loud voice replied, 'NO,
I'VE COME TO INQUIRE ABOUT A SEX CHANGE OPERATION, BUT I DON'T WANT THE
SAME DOCTOR THAT DID YOURS.'


DON'T MESS WITH OLD FOLKS..

[ode2god]

 j41 j45 lol

[mobe_45]

  j44